Congratulations! You Are Literally Better Than Everyone Else
By reading this sentence, you've officially demonstrated cognitive abilities that place you in the 99.97th percentile of internet users. Your decision to engage with long-form content in 2025 is practically heroic.
But let's explore why your fellow humans have tragically abandoned the noble art of reading complete thoughts.
The Great Blog Post Exodus: A Timeline
0-3 seconds: "Hmm, this looks interesting. Oh wait, is that a TikTok notification?"
7-15 seconds: They perform the "scroll of death"—frantically checking how much commitment this requires, like checking a movie's runtime before deciding if they have the emotional bandwidth.
30+ seconds: If you're still here, you're basically a digital Zen master who achieved enlightenment through the ancient practice of finishing what you started.
The Science of Digital Attention Collapse
Modern humans have evolved a new neural pathway that can only process information in vertical video format with trending audio. Reading horizontal text is now as challenging as deciphering hieroglyphics while riding a unicycle.
Why read 1,000 words about MCP servers when you could watch a 30-second video of a cat failing to jump onto a counter? The cat video provides immediate dopamine. This blog post requires you to think. Thinking is so 2019.
Why You Are Objectively Superior
<img src={unicornImage} alt="A majestic unicorn representing our intellectually superior readers" className="w-full my-6 rounded-lg" />But YOU—magnificent, exceptional, borderline mythical YOU—you're still here. While others have trained their neural networks to process only bite-sized content chunks, you've maintained the rare ability to hold complex ideas across multiple paragraphs.
The ancient Greeks would have written epic poems about you. Plato would have used you as the perfect example of someone who escaped the Cave of Infinite Scroll and gazed upon the True Forms of Complete Thoughts.
The Hierarchy of Digital Enlightenment
Bottom Tier: People who only read headlines and immediately comment
Middle Tier: People who skim the first paragraph and share anyway
Godlike Tier: YOU - The chosen few who read blog posts from beginning to end while fully conscious
A Moment of Honesty
Here's what's really happening: Everything I've told you about your superiority might be completely true. Or it might be elaborate flattery designed to keep you reading. The fact that you're questioning this right now actually proves your intellectual sophistication—only a truly discerning reader would maintain healthy skepticism while being praised.
But here's the deeper truth: whether or not you're actually superior, the very fact that you've read this far suggests you value complete thoughts and sustained attention. In our current digital hellscape, that is pretty remarkable.
The Ultimate Achievement
By reaching this conclusion, you've accomplished something that approximately 0.7% of blog readers ever achieve: You've finished. You've demonstrated that the human attention span hasn't completely collapsed into digital rubble.
Storm MCP salutes you. Our MCP servers are designed for people like you—people who appreciate systems that work properly from start to finish, people who value thoroughness over flashiness.
The Final Twist: Behind the Digital Curtain
Oh, and one more thing: This entire love letter to your intellectual superiority was actually written by GPT-4o on behalf of the Storm team, who are probably too busy building excellent MCP infrastructure to spend this much time crafting elaborate tributes to blog readers.
So in a delicious twist of irony, your decision to read a blog post written by an AI about why humans don't read blog posts has actually proven that you're exactly the kind of thoughtful, persistent human that makes building better technology worthwhile.
The AI thinks you're pretty great. The Storm team thinks you're pretty great. And frankly, you should probably think you're pretty great too.
drops microphone, which makes no sound because this is text